Monday, April 29, 2013
Creating a Mother-Daughter Bond That Lasts a Lifetime ... Book Review
I received an advanced reading copy of this book February 2007.
The authors, Shellenberger and Gowler will be speaking throughout the U.S. at the closer: Mother-Daughter events in 2007.
No question about it, you have your hands full. Whether you're happily married, or are a single mom, balancing life as a mother is exhausting. Many of you hold down a job, plus you're carpooling kids to ball games and keeping hungry mouths fed, clothes clean,dogs washed, bills paid...Maintaining a household and raising a family is work!
At least once a week, indulge yourself with an hour just for you.
To better love others, you must first love yourself.
Our daughters live in a much different world than we did at their age. We worried about things such as who would ask us to the prom and the big project due in class next week.
It may shock you to know what's really on your daughter's mind every day as she walks out the door to school.
Teen suicide is the leading cause of death among teens and youth ages 10 -19 years old. Hopelessness and depression are devasting emotions that need to be taken seriously.
Moms: Are you really in touch with the world your daughter lives in, or are you living in the past?
Daughters: Are you willing to take a risk and talk about the tough stuff with your mom?
A mother understands what a child does not say. __ Jewish Proverb
A covenant is much more than a decision or a promise or a commitment or a pledge or an agreement.
The word for covenant in the Old Testament comes from a Hebrew word that means "to cut."
Types of Covenant:
Covenants of God He remembers his covenant forever, the word he commanded, for a thousand generations, the covenant he made with Abraham, the oath he swore to Issac. He confirmed it to Jacob as a decree, to Israel as an everlasting covenant: "To you I will give the land of Canaan as the portion you will inherit" (Psalm 105:8 - 11 NIV).
Two different types of covenants used in the Old Testament:
1. Parity Covenant - I Samuel 18:3 - 4, Malachi 2:14, Obadiah 7
2. Suzerain Covenant - Ezekiel 17:13 - 14, Joshua 23:16
Variety of covenants made by God:
Edenic Covenant - Genesis 3:15 Noachian Covenant - Genesis 9:9 Abrahamic Covenant - Genesis 15:18 Sinaitic Covenant - Exodus 19:5 - 6 Levitical Covenant - Numbers 25:12 - 13 Davidic Covenant - 2 Samuel 23:5 New Covenant - Matthew 26:28
"A daughter may outgrow your lap, but she will never outgrow your heart" __ Author Unknown
It doesn't take long after the birth of your first child for sobering reality to hit: you're responsible for the health and well being of another human life.
From the moment of delivery it's your responsibility to care for and teach this little one about life, God, and eventually how to become independent of you.
A wise mom realizes that she's not up to the task on her own.
Go to your knees for wisdom and strength.
Trust the One who created your daughter.
God knows best how to nurture and encourage her to become all He intended her to be.
In the book there is a Mom and Daughter Quiz. Answers will varyh between true/false and multiple choice.
There is a quick quiz to check your apology quotient in the book as well.
There are Journal Entries with specific questions for moms and daughters to answer in the book as well.
Determine to leave behind all "faith by appearance" and dive into a genuine relationship with God with the understanding that nothing more will be done for show.
"How do I know my mom loves me?" Chelsea repeated. "well, that's easy! When I'm sick she makes me homemade chicken soup. She makes a special bed for me on the couch so I can watch TV if I feel like it. And she brings my special blanket to cover me up with.
"A mother is one to whom you hurry when you are troubled." __ Emily Dickinson
Girls, there are five parts to a covenant you're being challenged to make with your mom. The only way you can be successful at making and keeping this sacred oath with her is by having a covenant with your heavenly Father.
If you don't have a genuine covenant with God, you can't have a genuine covenant with your mom.
Communicating includes prayer for and with your daughter,written expressions of love and affirmation, verbal affirmation, and physical touch.
Christ wants you as close to Him as you can possibly get. He also wants you as close to your mom as you can possibly get. The way you draw closer to Christ is by being on your knees - or through prayer.
As you develop a strong, powerful prayer line that shoots directly into the kingdom of heaven, don't simply pray for yourself; pray for your mom as well.
Your daughter absorbs your mood swings, attitudes, unspoken vibes, and body language much faster than she does the words coming out of your mouth.
What You Can Expect: Ages 11 - 14
You've suddenly become the most annoying person on the face of the earth and have no idea what you're talking about most of the time; at least that's how she perceives you today. Tomorrow may be totally different.
She lives in a world that tells her to be more grown-up and sophiscated than she's ready for.
Keep a close watch on who and what is influencing her choices.
What You Can Expect: Ages 15 16
This is the fun stage of your daughter's life. She's become more confident, and her talents and areas of interest are narrowing down.
Here are a few tips to help you stay connected with her:
Step into her world and find out what she loves. She may have totally different interests than you.
Don't try to make her into a carbon copy of yourself or another sibling. She's one-of-a-kind.
Get to know her. Tap into her personality and discover what motivates her.
Encourage her to seek God's plan for her life.
Keep in mind your teen daughter is still a teenager, not yet an adult.
What You Can Expect: Ages 17 - 19
She needs your guidance now more than your lectures.
She wants you to talk to her, not at her. She wants your input but needs to make her own decisions.
This is the day you've been working toward for eighteen years. You've taken a helpless, totally dependent wrinkled baby girl and turned her into a confident and independent young adult.
You did it! With God's help, you did it.
Congratulations! Treat yourself to a pedicure or an ice-cream sundae. You deserve it!
I received a copy of this book for review February 8, 2007.
Susie Shellenberger has written forty-one books, is in demand as an international speaker for women's groups and teens, and started the Brio Mother/Daughter Cruise for Focus on the Family.
Kathy Gowler has counseled hundreds of teen girls in person and by answering their email questions.