Helping Those Who Hurt - Book Review

I reviewed this book more than 5 years ago I think am shared it online. ............. H. Norman Wright writes this book as a person who knows first hand about helping others through trauma. He is a licensced therapist and certified trauma specialist, he also suffered loss with the death of his son at a young age. ................. After forty years of counseling the author is convinced that as many as one-third to one-half of all people he has seen didn't need to come and see him. That is, they wouldn't have needed to see him if they'd had a trained pastor, lay caregiver, or knowledgeable friend to meet with. He is all for professional counseling when it's needed, but many issues can be resolved with the help of a friend who is willing to learn how to minister to others. And as Christians it is not an option to help or not help others. This is what the Christian life is all about - ministering to others. ... Helping others includes experiencing genuine interest and love for the individual. We can listen and rely upon the power of God for knowing how to respond, but we must also have a genuine interest and love. If it is not there, you can't fake it, and your friend will know if you are. Proverbs 27:9 "Oil and perfume rejoice the heart; so does the sweetness of a friend's counsel that comes from the heart." (AMP)....... Timing is another principle. Proverbs 15:23 "A man has joy in making an apt answer, and a word spoken at the right moment - how good it is." (AMP). The correct answer spoken at the right moment is needed. ....................................... Hebrews 10:25 says, "Let us encourage one another." Your encouragement serves like the concrete pilings of a structural support. ................................ IF YOU WANT TO HELP ANOTHER PERSON, just be there. If you want to help another person, just listen. One of the greatest gifts one person can give to another is the gift of listening. ............................................... It has been suggested that successful communication consists of seven percent content, thirty-eight percent tone of voice, and fifty-five percent nonverbal communication. ...................................... But some listen because they care, and this kind of listening provides unlimited opportunities for real ministry in people's lives. ......................... When someone loses a parent, he loses a person who for many years has been the most influential person in his life. For most of us, it means losing someone who loved us and cared for us in a way no one else does or ever will again. ..................... What is experienced as a crisis by your friend may not be a crisis to you. You have to see it through her eyes. .................................. Develop a Support System: Over the years the author came in contact with more and more churches that have developed an ongoing ministry for those who have experienced the loss of a loved one. ............................................. First in 1993 at the World Trade Center, next in 1995 in Oklahoma City, then in 1996 during the Olympics, and finally in 2001 at the World Trade Center - again. We experienced a twenty-first century "Day of Infamy" - and life in the United States has been altered radically. ........................................... Early examples of trauma are recorded in the Bible. Consider Job, who lost his family, farm, and health suddenly and by violent means (Job 1:13-19). David had several close (and no doubt traumatic) encounters with death that involved animals, soldiers, King Saul and giants (I Samuel 17:1-52; 18:10-11, 27; 19:8). These events affected his personaltiy and altered his immediate family. ......................... The word trauma comes from a Greek word that means "wound." ....................... How many people are exposed to traumatic events such as natural and technological disasters, accidents, crime, abuse, or war? ............................. Three Stages of Recovery: thinking emotional mastery .............................. The final stage is the mastery stage. This is when your friend finds new meaning through what she's experienced, and her perspective becomes that of a survivor rather than a victim. Who has the greatest potential to become a survivor? A person who has a relationship with Jesus Christ and a biblical worldview. ..................... If the loss was traumatic in some way, you may struggle with what to say. Grief is intensified if there was no opportunity to say good-bye, like in the case of accidents, fatal heart attacks, homicide, suicide, etc. Often when a death occurs in this way there is an intensity of feelings that can include regrets, guilt, shame, anger or rejection. .......................................... The core of helping others is prayer. But too little is said about prayer in counseling and too little is written about its use during the session and between sessions. What the author wants to address is the use of prayer as a means of healing in the process of counseling. ........................... There are five kinds of prayers that your friends need as an intervention during their time of difficulty: Prayer of encouragement Prayer of restoration Prayer of affirmation Prayer of blessing Prayer of intercession ............................ GriefShare is a program established in churches across the United States. A church is equipped with a video session for each meeting, a leader's guide, a leader-equipping video, and workbooks for group participants. Qualified lay people can lead this program. .................................. GriefShare videos feature interviews with thirty authors, speakers, counselors, and pastors with broad expertise in grief recovery from a biblical, Christian perspective.